Many gay couples negotiate open relationships

We have always known that legalizing homosexual "marriage" would do more than just allow homosexuals to marry. It would completely redefine marriage.

A new study of 566 gay couples in the San Francisco area reveals that HIV prevention should include gay men in so-called committed, long term relationships because most of them have agreed that it's healthy, and good for the relationship, to have sex on the side.

Now you know the real meaning behind the phrase "two loving individuals in a long term, committed relationship."

San Francisco Chronicle
Merridith May
July 16, 2010
They call them "San Francisco relationships."

"A term coined by the local gay community, it's defined as two men in a long-term open relationship, with lovers on the side.

A new study released this week by the Center for Research on Gender & Sexuality at San Francisco State University put statistics around what gay men already know: Many Bay Area boyfriends negotiate open relationships that allow for sex with outsiders.

After studying the sexual patterns of 566 gay male couples from the Bay Area for three years, lead researcher Colleen Hoff found that gay men negotiate ground rules and open their relationships as a way to build trust and longevity in their partnerships.

"I don't own my lover, and I don't own his body," he said. "I think it's weird to ask someone you love to give up that part of their life. I would never do it."

"So much of the HIV prevention effort is aimed at a different set - men in dance clubs or bathhouses having anonymous sex," she said. "HIV prevention might want to expand its message to address relationships; we have to look at risk in a greater context."

In her study of gay couples, 47 percent reported open relationships. Forty-five percent were monogamous, and the remaining 8 percent disagreed about what they were."

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